"May you be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you're dead."
Let me tell you a little known fact about our family - the bloodlines that created Canada's Mighty Elves.
Way back on our mother's, mother's, mother,'s (times five hundred) side, we are related to The Grand Leprechauns of Ireland and The Stalwart Brownies of the Lowland Scots.
On this august occasion of St. Patrick's Day, we call upon our royal Irish bloodline - to wish you a fine and happy day. Spring is in the air and the sun shines brightly for one and all.
And all things GREEN are IN. Who'd a thunk it?
Here are a couple of wee water cooler stories for those furtive get-togethers:
A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up : "You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose.""I'm sorry sir, I...""Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."
Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.
"What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.
"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.
"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Accent the Positive
Free will can be a lot like work. It's harder than going with the flow because it requires thinking. Thinking is in short supply during these halcyon days of hurry, hurry - just DO IT. Who's got time to think anymore? How are you supposed to think when you're juggling five tasks and doing none well?
Where's the time to think wonderful thoughts? To luxuriate in your own positive mindset? It doesn't just happen. It takes hard work and planning to have the time to ponder anything deeper than tonight's supper menu.
Medical experts advise us to nourish our bodies - to watch what, how much and when we eat. They warn us to exercise and to move more often so that we will continue to feel healthy and engaged in life, well into our seniour years. Time stretches out for us in a way our great, great-grandparents would never have dreamed.
According to "BBC Health", average life expectancy has doubled in the past 200 years. The average human lifespan today is 70, but 1000 years ago it was a paltry 24 years! And we're complaining about not having enough time?!
Mental health experts tell us we should laugh, have fun and find the joy in our lives and for the same reasons that we eat well and exercise - so we can capture lightning in a bottle - and nail down that elusive quality of life thing. Like nailing Jello to the wall, a pessimist would have you believe, but he'd be wrong.
It's about a little thing called "cause and effect". When we eat well we feel better. We have more energy, stamina, and resistance to infections. Proper exercise contributes to our general feelings of well being. These principles are well entrenched in our minds. We know what we should be doing...
When we laugh we experience similar benefits. A bale of belly laughs raises your respiration - your heart rate and your metabolism - much like any aerobic activity such as jogging, biking, hiking or skiing. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins - the body's natural pain killers - and helps get more oxygen to the brain. Who can't use more oxygen to the brain?
When we laugh we stop time - just for a moment - but long enough to give us the tinest glimpse of that rarest of jewels - pure joy. Giving oneself over to uninhibited mirth is a witless leap of faith. You can feel your brain slipping out of gear and it feels good.
That sounds an awful lot like quality of life, to me.
Once you're in that blissful state of mind, do yourself a favour and stay on board. Ride out the wave and see where it takes you. Look for the good, the kind, the decent in your life. Humans are hard-wired to try to be happy. Be your own best friend and let those potent little endorphins work their magic.
Informed, educated optimism vanquishes dark of night, ill informed pessimism every time, and free will takes work. Are you up for the challenge?
Where's the time to think wonderful thoughts? To luxuriate in your own positive mindset? It doesn't just happen. It takes hard work and planning to have the time to ponder anything deeper than tonight's supper menu.
Medical experts advise us to nourish our bodies - to watch what, how much and when we eat. They warn us to exercise and to move more often so that we will continue to feel healthy and engaged in life, well into our seniour years. Time stretches out for us in a way our great, great-grandparents would never have dreamed.
According to "BBC Health", average life expectancy has doubled in the past 200 years. The average human lifespan today is 70, but 1000 years ago it was a paltry 24 years! And we're complaining about not having enough time?!
Mental health experts tell us we should laugh, have fun and find the joy in our lives and for the same reasons that we eat well and exercise - so we can capture lightning in a bottle - and nail down that elusive quality of life thing. Like nailing Jello to the wall, a pessimist would have you believe, but he'd be wrong.
It's about a little thing called "cause and effect". When we eat well we feel better. We have more energy, stamina, and resistance to infections. Proper exercise contributes to our general feelings of well being. These principles are well entrenched in our minds. We know what we should be doing...
When we laugh we experience similar benefits. A bale of belly laughs raises your respiration - your heart rate and your metabolism - much like any aerobic activity such as jogging, biking, hiking or skiing. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins - the body's natural pain killers - and helps get more oxygen to the brain. Who can't use more oxygen to the brain?
When we laugh we stop time - just for a moment - but long enough to give us the tinest glimpse of that rarest of jewels - pure joy. Giving oneself over to uninhibited mirth is a witless leap of faith. You can feel your brain slipping out of gear and it feels good.
That sounds an awful lot like quality of life, to me.
Once you're in that blissful state of mind, do yourself a favour and stay on board. Ride out the wave and see where it takes you. Look for the good, the kind, the decent in your life. Humans are hard-wired to try to be happy. Be your own best friend and let those potent little endorphins work their magic.
Informed, educated optimism vanquishes dark of night, ill informed pessimism every time, and free will takes work. Are you up for the challenge?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Bio Add for Great Health
Bio-Add
Nutrition Boost
By Canada’s Mighty Elves
Canada’s Mighty Elves has developed a brand new healthy nutritive booster using five top nutritious seeds and grains. This fine product may be used as a fast and convenient way to bump up the total nutritional content of many of your own favourite recipes.
Our premium, exclusive, organic flour blend contains only the following:
· Green Lentils: cholesterol-lowering fiber, special benefit in managing blood-sugar disorders, six important minerals, two B-vitamins, and protein.
·Brown Rice: an excellent source of the trace mineral manganese, good source of the minerals selenium and magnesium and B vitamins. One of the world’s healthiest foods, dietary fiber of brown rice flour is more than double the amount found in white rice flour.
· Chickpeas: an exceptional choice for individuals with diabetes, insulin resistance or hypoglycemia, excellent source of the trace mineral, molybdenum, helps prevent digestive disorders like irritable bowel syndrome and diverticulosis, significantly lowers both total and LDL "bad" cholesterol.
· Millet: good source of some very important nutrients, including manganese, phosphorus, and magnesium. Magnesium has been shown in studies to reduce the severity of asthma and to reduce the frequency of migraine attacks. Magnesium has also been shown to lower high blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart attack.
· Quinoa: complete protein, meaning that it includes all nine essential amino acids, good choice for vegans, quinoa is especially well-endowed with the amino acid lysine, which is essential for tissue growth and repair, very good source of manganese as well as a good source of magnesium, iron, copper and phosphorus, this "grain" may be especially valuable for persons with migraine headaches, diabetes and atherosclerosis.
Each has been chosen in order to create the most nutrient dense vegetarian/vegan food additive possible, using no wheat, corn, oats, soy, chemicals, medicinal ingredients or preservatives. Our product is all natural and each ingredient is a power house by itself.
Bio-Add can be used many ways in both vegetarian and non-vegetarian homes alike. Replace a quarter cup of flour or oats in a bread, muffin, cake, cookie, or pancake recipe, for instance. A few spoonfuls added to a meatloaf, spaghetti sauce or breakfast smoothie adds valuable proteins, vitamins and minerals.
Bio-Add contains no gluten and therefore could be a well tolerated additive for sufferers of Crohn’s Disease or celiac disease, but please check with your doctor before making any changes in your diet.
Nutrition Boost
By Canada’s Mighty Elves
Canada’s Mighty Elves has developed a brand new healthy nutritive booster using five top nutritious seeds and grains. This fine product may be used as a fast and convenient way to bump up the total nutritional content of many of your own favourite recipes.
Our premium, exclusive, organic flour blend contains only the following:
· Green Lentils: cholesterol-lowering fiber, special benefit in managing blood-sugar disorders, six important minerals, two B-vitamins, and protein.
·Brown Rice: an excellent source of the trace mineral manganese, good source of the minerals selenium and magnesium and B vitamins. One of the world’s healthiest foods, dietary fiber of brown rice flour is more than double the amount found in white rice flour.
· Chickpeas: an exceptional choice for individuals with diabetes, insulin resistance or hypoglycemia, excellent source of the trace mineral, molybdenum, helps prevent digestive disorders like irritable bowel syndrome and diverticulosis, significantly lowers both total and LDL "bad" cholesterol.
· Millet: good source of some very important nutrients, including manganese, phosphorus, and magnesium. Magnesium has been shown in studies to reduce the severity of asthma and to reduce the frequency of migraine attacks. Magnesium has also been shown to lower high blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart attack.
· Quinoa: complete protein, meaning that it includes all nine essential amino acids, good choice for vegans, quinoa is especially well-endowed with the amino acid lysine, which is essential for tissue growth and repair, very good source of manganese as well as a good source of magnesium, iron, copper and phosphorus, this "grain" may be especially valuable for persons with migraine headaches, diabetes and atherosclerosis.
Each has been chosen in order to create the most nutrient dense vegetarian/vegan food additive possible, using no wheat, corn, oats, soy, chemicals, medicinal ingredients or preservatives. Our product is all natural and each ingredient is a power house by itself.
Bio-Add can be used many ways in both vegetarian and non-vegetarian homes alike. Replace a quarter cup of flour or oats in a bread, muffin, cake, cookie, or pancake recipe, for instance. A few spoonfuls added to a meatloaf, spaghetti sauce or breakfast smoothie adds valuable proteins, vitamins and minerals.
Bio-Add contains no gluten and therefore could be a well tolerated additive for sufferers of Crohn’s Disease or celiac disease, but please check with your doctor before making any changes in your diet.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Lentils, schmentils
We interrupt this program to bring you some late breaking news!
Yeah, sure, the economy is in the tank, it's still winter and will be for weeks to come, you need a vacation (don't we all), and the air in the house is so dry you wake up at 3 a.m. with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. I feel your pain - sort of, in a purely figurative way.
Never mind all that. As I have you a "captive audience", as it were, there is a rather serious matter we haven't discussed lately.
Yup, you got it - lentils. Lentils are mighty serious.
Stop me if you've heard this one before, but you'd have to say that lentils are really understated and underrated, besides being under appreciated. They're like the Clark Kents of the group of foods known as legumes - that is various dried peas and beans.
Check out http://www.agr.gc.ca/, if you don't believe me. It's a link to the website of Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada. Your tax dollars at work, folksies - use 'em or lose 'em.
Just between us - here's the low down on the lowly lentil… we're gonna learn youse on legumes.
Benefits:
1. Cheap – two kilograms of these babies will set you back less than $5.00 and you’ve got enough lentils to keep you in hog heaven for quite a while. And remember – no waste – it’s all edible.
2. Abundant – home grown in Canada. Available throughout the year. Often grown in crop rotation with spring or durum wheat. Encourage our Canadian farmers – buy Canadian lentils.
3. Nutritional powerhouse – high in fibre, low in fat, low G.I. (glycemic index) and cholesterol free. They are high in protein, B vitamins, and minerals, low in sodium and an excellent source of complex carbohydrates and vegetable protein. No additives – no chemicals. Worldwide lentils are considered to be a nutrient dense food.
4. Easy, quick to prepare – no peeling, mashing, or cut fingers. Just pick through for small stones, rinse under cold, running water and cook.
5. Versatile – toss a handful into soups and stews or replace a ¼ cup of flour in a bread, muffin or pancake recipe for an added protein and fibre boost. Lentils easily absorb flavours used in cooking. Pre-cook lentils by placing in already boiling water (easier to digest than starting in cold water). Turn down heat, cover and cook for 20 (green) - 30 (red, brown) minutes, then use in salads or add to vegetable side dishes..
6.Convenient to store – choose dried over canned. Less packaging, sodium.
7. Extensive health benefits – studies show lentils may be of some help in the prevention of cardiovascular disease, Type II Diabetes, hypoglycemia and weight control. There are established health benefits for osteoporosis, the nervous and immune systems and the teeth. Excellent plant protein source for vegetarians. Further, lentil flour is gluten free so it is especially useful to people with Celiac Disease or Crohn’s. (Tip: To make flour, grind dried lentils quickly and easily in your blender.) Lentils are a wonderful source of the B vitamin folate – helpful in protecting against colon and cervical cancer.
8. Excellent source of phytochemicals – which have an antioxidant effect on several cancers, hypertension and cardiovascular disease.
Always remember to drink lots of water when adding new sources of fibre.
We'll now return you to your regular programing...local blackouts apply. Please retrieve your hat and coat at the back of the hall. Don't forget to tip your waitress and that nice bartender on your way out. Everybody's gotta eat, you know.
Gee, I wonder if they've heard about lentils.
Oh, and taxes are extra.
Yeah, sure, the economy is in the tank, it's still winter and will be for weeks to come, you need a vacation (don't we all), and the air in the house is so dry you wake up at 3 a.m. with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. I feel your pain - sort of, in a purely figurative way.
Never mind all that. As I have you a "captive audience", as it were, there is a rather serious matter we haven't discussed lately.
Yup, you got it - lentils. Lentils are mighty serious.
Stop me if you've heard this one before, but you'd have to say that lentils are really understated and underrated, besides being under appreciated. They're like the Clark Kents of the group of foods known as legumes - that is various dried peas and beans.
Check out http://www.agr.gc.ca/, if you don't believe me. It's a link to the website of Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada. Your tax dollars at work, folksies - use 'em or lose 'em.
Just between us - here's the low down on the lowly lentil… we're gonna learn youse on legumes.
Benefits:
1. Cheap – two kilograms of these babies will set you back less than $5.00 and you’ve got enough lentils to keep you in hog heaven for quite a while. And remember – no waste – it’s all edible.
2. Abundant – home grown in Canada. Available throughout the year. Often grown in crop rotation with spring or durum wheat. Encourage our Canadian farmers – buy Canadian lentils.
3. Nutritional powerhouse – high in fibre, low in fat, low G.I. (glycemic index) and cholesterol free. They are high in protein, B vitamins, and minerals, low in sodium and an excellent source of complex carbohydrates and vegetable protein. No additives – no chemicals. Worldwide lentils are considered to be a nutrient dense food.
4. Easy, quick to prepare – no peeling, mashing, or cut fingers. Just pick through for small stones, rinse under cold, running water and cook.
5. Versatile – toss a handful into soups and stews or replace a ¼ cup of flour in a bread, muffin or pancake recipe for an added protein and fibre boost. Lentils easily absorb flavours used in cooking. Pre-cook lentils by placing in already boiling water (easier to digest than starting in cold water). Turn down heat, cover and cook for 20 (green) - 30 (red, brown) minutes, then use in salads or add to vegetable side dishes..
6.Convenient to store – choose dried over canned. Less packaging, sodium.
7. Extensive health benefits – studies show lentils may be of some help in the prevention of cardiovascular disease, Type II Diabetes, hypoglycemia and weight control. There are established health benefits for osteoporosis, the nervous and immune systems and the teeth. Excellent plant protein source for vegetarians. Further, lentil flour is gluten free so it is especially useful to people with Celiac Disease or Crohn’s. (Tip: To make flour, grind dried lentils quickly and easily in your blender.) Lentils are a wonderful source of the B vitamin folate – helpful in protecting against colon and cervical cancer.
8. Excellent source of phytochemicals – which have an antioxidant effect on several cancers, hypertension and cardiovascular disease.
Always remember to drink lots of water when adding new sources of fibre.
We'll now return you to your regular programing...local blackouts apply. Please retrieve your hat and coat at the back of the hall. Don't forget to tip your waitress and that nice bartender on your way out. Everybody's gotta eat, you know.
Gee, I wonder if they've heard about lentils.
Oh, and taxes are extra.
Who are you? Who am I?
In the telling of a tale it is necessary to answer many questions. While making a list of the questions characters in my fictional worlds must ask themselves, it occured to me that these are the same questions any one of us could ask ourselves in the serialization of our own personal stories - our very lives.
Who am I? Where did I come from? What do I want? Where am I going?Direct, simple questions we can ask ourselves, but sometimes ones with no easy answers.
QUESTIONS MY CHARACTERS MUST ANSWER
1. Who am I? Where did I come from? When? What makes me happy? Sad?
2. Who raised me? How old I am? Did I have a happy childhood? Was I loved? Wanted?
3. What character trait defines my personality? Am I trusting? Suspicious? Why?
4. What is my level of education? Am I intelligent? Am I capable of making hard decisions?
5. Am I healthy in body and mind? What is my history? Problems?
6. What is my occupation? Training? Experience? Work environment?
7. Do I have friends? For how long? Problems? How do they contribute to my story?
8. What about my family? Married? Spouse? Children? Parents? Siblings? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? Grandparents?
9. What is my nationality? Culture? Religion? What are my core beliefs?
10. Where is my conflict? Why? With whom? For how long? What will I do?
11. What do I want? If I want it badly enough, can I make it come true? How? What were my successes? My failures?
12. What am I willing to risk in order to get what I want? Will my conscience allow my actions?
13. What could the consequences be? How high are the stakes? What are my odds?
14. Why do I want what I want? How long have I wanted it?
15. Where can I get it? Who has it now? Why?
16. How do I get it (back)? What tests must I pass? Will I have to hurt anyone? How badly?
17. What motivates me? Is family honour involved? Love? Hate? Revenge? Pride? Fear? Desire? Greed? Empathy? Lonliness? Memories?
18. What can I control? Who is stopping me from getting what I want? What stands in my way? Why? How?
19. Will I get what I want? How long will it take? Will I be happy in the end? Will anyone else?
20. What happens next? Why? With whom?
21. Am I telling a short story or a novel? From whose perspective? Why?
Who am I? Where did I come from? What do I want? Where am I going?Direct, simple questions we can ask ourselves, but sometimes ones with no easy answers.
QUESTIONS MY CHARACTERS MUST ANSWER
1. Who am I? Where did I come from? When? What makes me happy? Sad?
2. Who raised me? How old I am? Did I have a happy childhood? Was I loved? Wanted?
3. What character trait defines my personality? Am I trusting? Suspicious? Why?
4. What is my level of education? Am I intelligent? Am I capable of making hard decisions?
5. Am I healthy in body and mind? What is my history? Problems?
6. What is my occupation? Training? Experience? Work environment?
7. Do I have friends? For how long? Problems? How do they contribute to my story?
8. What about my family? Married? Spouse? Children? Parents? Siblings? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? Grandparents?
9. What is my nationality? Culture? Religion? What are my core beliefs?
10. Where is my conflict? Why? With whom? For how long? What will I do?
11. What do I want? If I want it badly enough, can I make it come true? How? What were my successes? My failures?
12. What am I willing to risk in order to get what I want? Will my conscience allow my actions?
13. What could the consequences be? How high are the stakes? What are my odds?
14. Why do I want what I want? How long have I wanted it?
15. Where can I get it? Who has it now? Why?
16. How do I get it (back)? What tests must I pass? Will I have to hurt anyone? How badly?
17. What motivates me? Is family honour involved? Love? Hate? Revenge? Pride? Fear? Desire? Greed? Empathy? Lonliness? Memories?
18. What can I control? Who is stopping me from getting what I want? What stands in my way? Why? How?
19. Will I get what I want? How long will it take? Will I be happy in the end? Will anyone else?
20. What happens next? Why? With whom?
21. Am I telling a short story or a novel? From whose perspective? Why?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Read your owner's manual
I'm going to let you in on a little secret - we humans have evolved from a bunch of easy going folks. Our ancient ancestors - early homo sapiens - got excited only when it mattered most - like when the tribe found themselves standing in the middle of a migrating herd of burly mastodon or trapped like rats at the cul-de-sac of a box canyon with a ravenous saber tooth tiger waiting for dinner safely at the only exit - the entrance. You're talking pure fight or flight here. Or slice and dice. Simple choices.
100,000 B.P. (before present) I'll bet Mum and Dad didn't obsess about little Klaaaakta Tum's feelings or how many birthday parties he hadn't been invited to, if he had enough of the right toys or had poor self esteem issues. I'm sure they still concerned themselves with proper friends for their children. Who wants their kid hanging out with losers?
Food and keeping the offspring alive long enough to fend - literally - for themselves must have kept Mum and Dad pretty busy. No time, energy or enough light to lay awake at nights wondering if they'd chosen the right career path.
Still Dad would have to think about where tomorrow's brochette de bison would come from, and Mum might have had her share of sleepless nights fending off killer colds and flus, mumps and infections in her precious children and beloved buffalo hunter.
Naturally, Mum homo sapiens never got sick. Good thing, too, or where or where would our species be today? I'll tell you where - the same place our cousins, those loveable scruffians, the Neanderthal ended up, that's where. Right! Gone bye bye forever. Broken branch. All gone.
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...
Oh sure, we've developed a pre-frontal lobe in the eons since, but to our detriment in many ways. For one thing, we take life and ourselves way too seriously.
For once you know a thing, you can't unknow it and we love to "wallow in the mire" as Morrison once sang, so we throw ourselves into the muck headfirst, eyes wide open, knowing it's not a good thing. Shoulda stuck with the happy stories - just couldn't help myself, is what we say, but sure as spit, we'll be back. Oh, yeah, brothers and sisters - we'll be back.
Once you've allowed your marvelous lobe full rein - oh, there's no telling what kind of imagery it will unleash. Free to roam and breed new synapeses at will - why, who knows what, where or why your lobe will lead.
And you know of course, that you - the very you who "thinks" he's in the driver's seat - is now out of his head. He's really been relegated to a post in the rear seating of his own vehicle, and hasn't the brain to realize it.
Since we're the current owners of our brains and our pains, it behooves us to READ THE MANUAL. Nobody else can read your owner's manual but you. It's a closed blog with an audience of one.
One thing I know for sure is that is the chapter on "Don't Worry, Be Happy" is universal - everybody's got that chapter in their manual. Check right at the beginning. And it isn't a suggestion, it's a requirement of good vehicle maintainance.
Keep that in mind the next time your lobe switches over to red alert, because happiness is catchy - a good catchy.
100,000 B.P. (before present) I'll bet Mum and Dad didn't obsess about little Klaaaakta Tum's feelings or how many birthday parties he hadn't been invited to, if he had enough of the right toys or had poor self esteem issues. I'm sure they still concerned themselves with proper friends for their children. Who wants their kid hanging out with losers?
Food and keeping the offspring alive long enough to fend - literally - for themselves must have kept Mum and Dad pretty busy. No time, energy or enough light to lay awake at nights wondering if they'd chosen the right career path.
Still Dad would have to think about where tomorrow's brochette de bison would come from, and Mum might have had her share of sleepless nights fending off killer colds and flus, mumps and infections in her precious children and beloved buffalo hunter.
Naturally, Mum homo sapiens never got sick. Good thing, too, or where or where would our species be today? I'll tell you where - the same place our cousins, those loveable scruffians, the Neanderthal ended up, that's where. Right! Gone bye bye forever. Broken branch. All gone.
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...
Oh sure, we've developed a pre-frontal lobe in the eons since, but to our detriment in many ways. For one thing, we take life and ourselves way too seriously.
For once you know a thing, you can't unknow it and we love to "wallow in the mire" as Morrison once sang, so we throw ourselves into the muck headfirst, eyes wide open, knowing it's not a good thing. Shoulda stuck with the happy stories - just couldn't help myself, is what we say, but sure as spit, we'll be back. Oh, yeah, brothers and sisters - we'll be back.
Once you've allowed your marvelous lobe full rein - oh, there's no telling what kind of imagery it will unleash. Free to roam and breed new synapeses at will - why, who knows what, where or why your lobe will lead.
And you know of course, that you - the very you who "thinks" he's in the driver's seat - is now out of his head. He's really been relegated to a post in the rear seating of his own vehicle, and hasn't the brain to realize it.
Since we're the current owners of our brains and our pains, it behooves us to READ THE MANUAL. Nobody else can read your owner's manual but you. It's a closed blog with an audience of one.
One thing I know for sure is that is the chapter on "Don't Worry, Be Happy" is universal - everybody's got that chapter in their manual. Check right at the beginning. And it isn't a suggestion, it's a requirement of good vehicle maintainance.
Keep that in mind the next time your lobe switches over to red alert, because happiness is catchy - a good catchy.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Fiction
Swarm Think: The Rule of Nine
Swarm think is good. Go along with the hive or else. We don’t want to think about what the or else part means. It doesn’t sound good. They punish not-like-minders. It has never happened in our lifetime - that’s what they say - but you know how easily one could just melt into the dense crowd, or be melted. We can’t keep track of everybody, but we know somebody is. Somebody’s busy as we speak. We’d bet, well, we’d bet more than we’ve got and that’s not much.
We are successful breeders. The population is now over eight billion. There is some division amongst the nine tribes to facilitate groupthink. Over a certain number of millions, groupthink becomes sluggish, slow-witted and unable to decide.
Statisticians tell us the magic number is somewhere around four million, give or take three thousand. It depends on the minds contained in the group. Every effort is made to distribute quick thinkers evenly, while keeping families together, but mistakes happen.
We’re still only human, but humans need rest, healthy food and stimuli in order to be fully engaged. For generations there has been an acute shortage of the first two which leads to an overabundance of the latter.
We are too many. We need water, for we have bled the earth dry.
We are always afraid. Leery of the growing shadows, terrified of unknown diseases, laid flat by the weather demons, and undone by our own greed. That was then and that is now. As foretold, so say the greatest of the great, and who are we to dissent? We don’t like to rock the boat. We can’t swim. We’ve forgotten how.
We love group think. There is never another time in our existence that we feel so free, so alive, so filled to the brim with possibility and expectation. Anything can be anything when you’re all together. Our swarm mind swoops and dips with the others like a hundred thousand murders of jet black crows. There is no speaking. What need? There is only thought. Think it and it will be. Water? Who needs water when you feel the music of oneness in your bones, your heart and your soul?
The swarm sways in time to the symphony of humming, sparkling synapses, all fine tuned to one channel. What power! What exhilaration in the innocent air between our brains! Blue zaps of protons and neurons and electrons crashing together, melding into a concerto of pure thought and invisible will.
To the power and glory of Nine. Nine times nine forever and ever amen. And so it goes for us. The power of Nine never ends but rather circles back upon itself, and then closes, clean as a well-practiced surgeon, invisible as the thick air we suffer to drag into our crusted, baked lungs. The air tastes of greasy smoke. Old habits die hard and change is the breath of life itself.
One clean mind could change the world. That’s what my teacher preaches. The choir has not converted. That kind of talk could get him in trouble. We’re afraid for our teacher. He mustn’t preach individuality. That’s wrong. There is no power in the individual, only in the group. Everybody knows that. He is the only one who has ever taught that a single mind could do anything, that doesn’t strictly have to do with staying among the quick, as we are today, and today is all that matters.
Today he asks me a question.
“What are you?” he says, and I have to think alone. His question makes me think thoughts that lead me nowhere I wish to go. Down a lonely, twisted path, with no groupthink to guide me. No map for alone. Fear gnaws at my innards like the two-headed beast of myths and legends.
Suddenly, a bright light burns from my empty eyes. I behold the answer, as clearly as I witness the rising of our blood sun every morning and I know it to be true. I see it in the shadows of his dark eyes.
“I am one,” I say and teacher smiles.
Only for me.
Swarm think is good. Go along with the hive or else. We don’t want to think about what the or else part means. It doesn’t sound good. They punish not-like-minders. It has never happened in our lifetime - that’s what they say - but you know how easily one could just melt into the dense crowd, or be melted. We can’t keep track of everybody, but we know somebody is. Somebody’s busy as we speak. We’d bet, well, we’d bet more than we’ve got and that’s not much.
We are successful breeders. The population is now over eight billion. There is some division amongst the nine tribes to facilitate groupthink. Over a certain number of millions, groupthink becomes sluggish, slow-witted and unable to decide.
Statisticians tell us the magic number is somewhere around four million, give or take three thousand. It depends on the minds contained in the group. Every effort is made to distribute quick thinkers evenly, while keeping families together, but mistakes happen.
We’re still only human, but humans need rest, healthy food and stimuli in order to be fully engaged. For generations there has been an acute shortage of the first two which leads to an overabundance of the latter.
We are too many. We need water, for we have bled the earth dry.
We are always afraid. Leery of the growing shadows, terrified of unknown diseases, laid flat by the weather demons, and undone by our own greed. That was then and that is now. As foretold, so say the greatest of the great, and who are we to dissent? We don’t like to rock the boat. We can’t swim. We’ve forgotten how.
We love group think. There is never another time in our existence that we feel so free, so alive, so filled to the brim with possibility and expectation. Anything can be anything when you’re all together. Our swarm mind swoops and dips with the others like a hundred thousand murders of jet black crows. There is no speaking. What need? There is only thought. Think it and it will be. Water? Who needs water when you feel the music of oneness in your bones, your heart and your soul?
The swarm sways in time to the symphony of humming, sparkling synapses, all fine tuned to one channel. What power! What exhilaration in the innocent air between our brains! Blue zaps of protons and neurons and electrons crashing together, melding into a concerto of pure thought and invisible will.
To the power and glory of Nine. Nine times nine forever and ever amen. And so it goes for us. The power of Nine never ends but rather circles back upon itself, and then closes, clean as a well-practiced surgeon, invisible as the thick air we suffer to drag into our crusted, baked lungs. The air tastes of greasy smoke. Old habits die hard and change is the breath of life itself.
One clean mind could change the world. That’s what my teacher preaches. The choir has not converted. That kind of talk could get him in trouble. We’re afraid for our teacher. He mustn’t preach individuality. That’s wrong. There is no power in the individual, only in the group. Everybody knows that. He is the only one who has ever taught that a single mind could do anything, that doesn’t strictly have to do with staying among the quick, as we are today, and today is all that matters.
Today he asks me a question.
“What are you?” he says, and I have to think alone. His question makes me think thoughts that lead me nowhere I wish to go. Down a lonely, twisted path, with no groupthink to guide me. No map for alone. Fear gnaws at my innards like the two-headed beast of myths and legends.
Suddenly, a bright light burns from my empty eyes. I behold the answer, as clearly as I witness the rising of our blood sun every morning and I know it to be true. I see it in the shadows of his dark eyes.
“I am one,” I say and teacher smiles.
Only for me.
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